Sweet Words Turns Black

Three Wishes!

Did he promise me that everything will be okay?
Can I know whether you're not lying?
Is it everyone thought that I'm doing okay?
Can anyone come and understand my feeling?
Can I know the truth?

I did not mean to do that,
But in that condition, how am i suppose to keep quiet.
I have walked to a dead end right now.
I wish somebody can help me.
And does not talk bout it again.

Every time I asked for a help.
I feel ashamed.
Who am I to receive help from others?
Feel like dying.Life doesn't mean anything anymore.

Every time I think bout money.
My tears kept flowing.
I really really don't know what to do.
I want to stop from crying.
I want to be happy.

Why other people just kept sad for love, relationship and others but not money.
And I!
Money!

If I was a rich girl.
-I would not suffer from insufficient of money.
-I would travel to all around the world.
-I would study at private school.
-I would buy all the things I like.
-I would asked my friend to come to my house and have party together.
-I would help others.
-Be happy all the day.

They so many things I can do if I was a rich girl.
But all the things in the above list happen antonym to my life.

Sometimes I saw others who are in need.
I really wanted to help them.
But even I myself can't help myself.
Even I can't make myself be happy.

I felt sorry for her.
I know her condition is more worse than mine.
But, I just wanted her to become one and only person who can help and understand me.

If I have a genie with me.
Asking what three wishes I wanted to fulfill,
1st wish- Make my friend's life become perfect.
2nd wish- Make my family happy all the time.
3rd wish- Make me disappear and end my life.

I know life Is a challenge,
But I can't believe that life is a joy.

So many things that need us to go through.
Especially me.

Why?