S A L L Y; K O N N Y

worship pugs like there's no tomorrow  It has been way too long since I last updated this blog. I have the time and space now cause my room just got a great upgrade! *you literally can do anything if you have the money BUT don't prioritize money too much* Anyway, there's a bunch of updates in my life. From really personal stuff to more fresh relationship issue or I might say it has got to do with my feelings. transformation Friday haha  Let's start with something really personal to me ever since I can remember; my weight or my body. I have gone down to 82kg this morning (from a whopping 100+kg few years back!). I feel ecstatic and I feel good. To be honest, I no longer feel depressed about weight lost because it's really a lifestyle change. We got to take control of ourselves and make the right decisions. Recently I've gotten so much compliment about my looks, it definitely serves as a confidence boost for me. I have always been struggling with self-es...

I'm back, back to this place where I made a lot of empty promises of coming back and getting active again. There's too much stuff that had happened to me for the past few years. For instance, my father whom I've written about a lot in my past entries had came back to us. My mom whom I love the most had gone crazy. And I hit twenty three few months back.  It was not easy but I managed to get through them. I should be impressed that I've walked this far despite having doubts about me continuing this precious this called life. It really was not easy, I'm bearing through it still. Maybe I learned to be more laid back and more carefree. Because I do not have the ability to change other people but I know I can change how I face the world.  Being twenty three is literally just me reminding myself that I'm twenty three the whole time. Twenty three, an age that is not consider as young nor old neither. An age where most people will make their transition from stu...

This is my blog for now. Still have lots of editing to do.

Thought of returning to blogging because I have so many things clumped up inside me. Well, escaping from assignments is what I'm doing now since I'm here writing this unnecessary "announcement" of me returning back here, to where I used to express all my feelings (anger and sadness especially). I hope coming back here and doing this again will benefit me one way or another. It will all just be my honest thoughts and I'll try my hardest (i promise) to not go close to any sensitive issue. If any of my friend had a chance to read my entries I bet they gonna get the juiciest bit of my life. This may be just a temporary excitement I'm having but I'm just gonna write when I feel like it. I might not have any follower or loyal reader and I might be writing this post this out and still has zero reader. But it's not my ultimate concern, I write because I want to. I hope one day when I come back again after possibly abandoning this blog and ...

Ta-da! I'm back again! For good!  I think I'm just gonna blog about today. Oh I meant, Tuesday. So basically nothing extreme happen at school. But something bombastic embarassing happened today at school. (Look at me, I'm blogging about schools and stuff. I feel like a kid) So.. today other than enduring three period of biology class. Three periods!  I really can't brain how those classmates and withstand every single second of her class. It's like hypnotizing me to sleep.  Of course nobody can put you into sleep like teachers do. Ok.. after being proud of enduring intense biology classes, things not quite end there yet. Cause after recess it's freaking three periods of Chemistry class. I really hate this new timetable. Even now, after the lower six have entered we can't delay our time to lab. Cause will freaking wait outside our class. I was like "Come on guys, don't pretend to be hard working. Sooner or later you...

Whao! It's really been a long long time I haven't blog. I actually mentioned on Twitter that I will not return to blogspot for the time being. But rules are meant to be broken. After so many attempts on logging in this blogger app, finally I succeeded! It's actually a really simple step to be taken. Okay, let me first get into the reason why I return to blogspot. The sole reason for me typing this post for this blog is actually to revive my language skills. You have no idea how much a new school have changed me. This new environment really holding me back from everything. I seriously dislike the environment that I'm now still in. I just can't wait to get out from there. Of course, there's always the bright side. The bright side is actually I have met a lot of crazy friends and also being able to be close again with Kath. Well, basically other than friends I have no other reason to stay. It's so different from Perimbun. The people in Perimbu...

Ae yooo! Wassssuuuppp! It's been really a while now yes? I guess I have now left no readers in my blog. WHAAAAIIIII??!! It's ok.. Here is another nonsense random post. As time goes by, the more I feel insecure. Do you know the feeling when something goes really smooth but actually what's coming through would be something life threatening? Yeah, that's what I'm going through now. Maybe I'm used to having tough time, when things tend to get better. No, I don't feel good but I feel rather scared. Another thing I'm used to is being without him. It's been almost nine years now. Although in between he would come back. I really love him. How I wish our decision were made better in the past. It's really frustrating. I will really go crazy with this. Ughh. #Kbye 

I can't decide what shall I study after SPM . At first, I said I don't want it to be related to medical stuff. But guess what, Now I decide I shall not waste my two years studying pure science. After many choices of accountant , business management , banking finance and hotel management. Now I have choices like Nutritionist & D ietitian and Dentistry. :((((((((

I'm already seventeen. I'm already in form 5. I'm gonna sit for SPM this year. Everything happen real fast. Can I pause those happy moments? Can I replay those impromptu jokes that were said just now? I'm afraid, but I can't do anything. It seems like I'm useless. Hmmm.... There were so many things in my mind that I wanted to fulfill. Yeah... Thousands of them. But I'm not capable to do so. Am I already limit to this stage ONLY? God... Please bless me. Like you blessed me on 2009. I love you for what YOU gave me and repay me everything. :D You're a great listener. p/s : Grace and Jessica gonna see this post real soon~ XD

你…… 跟你做朋友已经有几年了， 有些事 我很想让你知道。 在我揭开之前， 我想问问你 我在你心目中是什么？ 我一直 都当作你是我最要好的 朋友。 可是，你呢？ 当你有困难的时候， 我都想会尽力 帮你解决。 害怕 你会伤心。 不管是学校 还是 朋友的问题， 我都会想爆头脑 帮你解决。 当然， 不只是我。 每一次怕你赶不及功课， 我都会把我已经做完的借给你。 怕你给老师处罚。 在某些事， 我都会让你。 也都是怕你 生气。 我那么对你好， 却回来的不是我所想要得。 在 PMR 拿成绩 的时候。 都开始明白了。 到现在， 你还是一样。 有事 才找我。 我现在所写的东西。 不是故意要让你看到， 也不是要我们的感情不好。 就是没有其他的恶意。 不管怎么样， 我还是会尊重你。 因为， 象你这种的朋友 是 独一无二 的。 :))

Fuh!!! I think I sound over reacting in that title huh? I haven't been in this blog for months now! What have I done to this blog?!!! It looks dusty yet rusty! First thing I did when I log in is to remove the player! Yes! The player! The song aged already. Not my coffee anymore. XDDD Well... Few days back, when I was searching for some essay papers. I saw something that is memorable. That make me goes "How silly I reacted so hard on it." It's a notebook contain some notes about... Nursing's steps. Like Dressing. Hair shampoo. Bed making. Bed bath. Check temperature. etc. Other than that actually, the first page is my job. The compsquad rules. I still remember how I work so hard memorizing and get used to it. Those are precious little giant stuff that happen to me. This lifetime opportunity that happen only once in my life. It's always gonna be precious. For my thought, I think we are the one who rises up the sun.And the other work ward remaining it. The moment...

Really not in the mood to blog any stuff. Even one look to blog. Cause I don't feel it's my freedom to do so already. Even in Facebook. Twitter. Or any place. Di manakah kebebasan bersuara kita? Aigooo... I don't know why. Please don't even ask me. It's already been continuously. Our freedom fading fading fading away~ I guess after this post. I probably became the evil person. Get the hatred. Get the judgement. I get all those negative! Yup! Only me! Cause why? No freedom!!! And I repeat! ONLY ME!!!! *Banging My Head* Ya~ Lu Btul semua... Lu tak yah pikir logik la... Tak gune pun~

It's clear when you just see the title right? I'm like being another kid age below 10. Putting the LOVE to the title. Because I'm freaking love AJK 09/10 and 10/11!!!! Oh My God... I really do love them. I expect the responsible to end. But not our history and memories! It will never end! And the members. Especially the 94's! They are totally awesome! Really! I'll go hands up in the air for the 94's. Much love for you guys! St. John family is really felt like second home. I really touched by the action and all. You guys really prove "action speak louder than words" true! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ I don't care what other said about this AGM! It's the love that matters!!!! LEE KWON-KI! ME! PHOON LI WEN! CHIM KAH PUI! SERENA! MICHELLE! WAN XIN! VICTOR! LI MAY! TOMMY! KAH JUN! YIT MEY! TECK LEE! KAI YANG! Together we'll make history! Together we'll make great memories!!! SA RANG HAE yeo-ro-bun! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I care. I believe. I love. You... Was a history for me. Nevertheless I wouldn't want it to repeat in time. The history wasn't bad. It's great spending details with you. But it's true when I said I don't want it to repeat in my life. I hate you. Fakes that can never be real. Tears can't be forced out. It's better beautiful when it shed without anyone knowing even yourself. Forced tears are for actress. Shedding unwanted fake tears. For me, you are one of the actress. Shedding tears. Fake tears. Fake you. You have got a family. Then why would you abandoned it. And give unwise reason to leave this home? You beg in your knees just to have him to admit that you're one of them. The daughters. When it's time for sightings. You beg for sympathy. Crying. Alphabetically. Emotionally. I'm totally looking you down. As a cheap person? You wanted earthlings to able know your feelings. But do you know what earthlings feels? Not 100% but 90% of you is totally fa...

Ah.... Holiday again... Spending it like past year's holiday. Sitting at home do exactly nothing. This year not going to area camp. After the phobia of previous area camp. Mm... There's nothing big happen to me. Maybe I'll start another poetic post again. Yesterday, Eve message me in Facebook. And then we chat through phone. I really wanted to meet her. But it's very stress to go out with person that are way better than myself. I might feel very very small in her eyes. Is it her real feeling when she said she misses me? And craving to meet me? Maybe if I hang out with her always. I'll be just like her. Pretty and manage to change myself.

It's been ages when I last posted something. I planned on writing something long. But it takes time thou. Alone in the house with my loud music. Maybe? These freaking days, made me go high and low. Even horizontally and vertically. Honestly, I don't think they are _._._._ already. It's now _._._ cause we already kind of agree something that might woop! I can't say my life gets better. I kept on making myself to think positive and making the positive way. But how would I know it's goes negatively? Ah... My friends list. Only Gods know who is my current friend. Maybe it's my fault if the list get shorter. Because it's me who shoo them off. Someone please bite me hard. Leave a great big scar will do. So I got reasons to shed tears. Woopsie... Totally random post. I posted what came out from my mind!

I love how our relationships before. There's no boundaries between boundaries. How the statement can be revealed just by looking on us. A true statement. I can feel the stabbing from my back. The aura, although it's unseen. The stabs is not accurate in one place, but it's consistent. Repeating step by step. It's actually the same. But I wonder, How it became so unfamiliar. Faith comes but we can't dodge any of it. If it came to you, right in front of you. Your both hand automatically accept it. It doesn't care what your feeling would be. There's sign and symptoms before it. Whether your heart is feeling uncomfortable. Or there's sudden reaction which going in to you. There are words. Please appreciate life. Don't complaint God has not given you a life with happiness. God has already giving his best. Maybe you will said it's not enough. But please live your life with what you have. Don't complaint till it's gone. Or you'll never know g...

I don't know what had happen between us. But you seems like dislike me day by day. I wish the time would stop. So the hateful in you would stop. I miss how you would like listen to me. Respect me more than others. Having fun with me and won't let me upset. Not that you have change. I understand your condition now. But it's not enough that only me who understand. I'm tired of it. Nearly fed up with it. But I didn't. I knew friends is desperately needing for understanding. Sometimes you treat me so good. Always there to cheer me up. But sometimes you treat me like nothing. Always abandon and avoiding me. You said don't hurt others. But you just did it thousands times. To me. It's not that you must treat me like a queen. But please. I'm a human with heart with feelings. I do feel hurt too. I know why these things is already a normal things to happen. But this time,I felt heartbroken. Really felt my heart scatter around and hoping someone repair it. And also...

Pop! pop! pop! My collar! Anything happen when my internet was down? Of course. Always happens ups and downs. There's too many to mention. How would this be me? I wished I wouldn't act that way. And I also wished THEY wouldn't act that way too. In this case I could say that it is both tribe's fault. Anyway, It happen. I doesn't looks like I own a time machine right? But, If I rewind it to that very moment. I guess I would sure act that way too. It's me. What's wrong? *I have bad attitude?* Just watched God Of Study episode 13. Still have days to wait for next episode.*anticipating* Learnt some moral values from there. Well, About what? Studies of course.*obviously* There's also some study tips. But I can't really get it. Maybe it's subtitle is in Chinese. Ah! Also the actor is very good looking! I wished some kids look like them would transfer to our school and get into my class. And acted like in the drama to me! Sweet! *screams!* Aigoo... It...

Aigoo... There's nothing good to be in good class. Teachers already treat us like one of them. You know what I mean? They thought we are just like them, clever enough. But, can't do anything right? Mmm... I found out that my bottle is leaking! Kept on check my bottle every second to see whether got damage or not. But nope! It's fine like it's new! Guess I have to deal with it this whole year. *Opps!* Argh... I can't do my additional mathematic! It's really additional to my life! And I guess I have to face it by myself! I don't have tuition! Self-study Self-study Self-study Self-study :( I miss my old classmates. I miss where time that we hang out chit-chatting with each other. Laugh out loud enough that we don't care bout others. Not only the classmates, I miss the class too. Always the target for teacher! :) Muackmuacks! Okay. Shut it up already.