Seeking


Seeking for the real me.
Am I fake in front of others?
What can I do?

I want ways to be real.
Why there is no anybody who want to help?
I can't live long with my soul.
As long as I live.
As maniac as I can be.

I do not want to end up sleeping in the side road.
Cause I'm not a maniac.

Have I seriously changed?
I can't feel it.
It's like a secret beyond my secret.
A secret that nobody knows the actual answer.

Can I live with this me?

How many support will I get?
One? Two?
It's funny thinking of it.
Even one support I'll be like on the cloud.

Can't seem to find Esc button on my keyboard.
Where did it went?
Playing a fool of me?

If time can be reverse.
I seriously want to look what am I when I'm few months back.
Or years back.

Maybe a video of me when I'm good and I'm bad.
Maybe I'll realize.
Seriously,
Nobody can tell what changes that change me.

Blogs.
Posts.
Only these could understand me.
They will not angry or reject when I type rubbish.

Can I say that I don't really care?
Of course no.
Cause every inch those muscles move.
I would care 100%.

What they say.

What they do.

What they act.

What they write.

What they looking.

More and more.

Well.
I know I should not ask this question.
But,
Do anybody care about me?
Or ask me question that really related to me?

I could laugh and in the same time and say NO.

I live for nobody.
Not even myself.
For more days further,
I might change again.

Why am I that hot tempered?
Maybe I wanted everything to be perfect.
I scold whenever mistakes were shown.

My wrong?
Or...
Yours?

I want them to think and move.
Not showing power to others.
I knew that we all were nothing but just a bunch of active members.

We are not that perfect.
Now I know that last badge and more badge before really have stress.

For studies,
I have started but,
Is it working?
Or it just too late for me to revise?
Anyway,
I will continue.

The amount of day decrease so smoothly without any trace.
I can't do anything.
IF!
There was a time machine.
Well,
Does time machine exist?

Looking at them,
Looking at me.

BIG difference.

I can't stop laughing by myself.
It's not funny at all.

Is she changing too?
If she is changing,
Please! Make it a good change.

Quality defeats Quantity after all.


Comments

Tommy CcK said…
There are ppl around you that care about you,
Its just that you're not awaken enough to see,
Clear up the fogs in your mind,
And you will see that there are many,
That cares.
July 14, 2009 at 11:32 PM
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