S A L L Y; K O N N Y

So many things happen since my last post. Things that would make somebody have different kind of feelings. When the war is going to happen. I just could not train my skills. I was like "Better die than Suffer." So, I did last minute skills in late night/early in the morning. The war easier then I think. But it still hard for me. Something really made me and everybody piss about. It's the cheating. Everyone in the war made their best. And she. She wanted the best but she's not the best. Fucker her. Since my last post. I also knew that many of peoples these day heading to the hospital. I wished it could be me. Here's what I wanted. >Laying on the hospital's bed. >Knowing that my sickness could not be cured. >Having friends and family visiting me. >Everyone cries for me. >YeSung play a visit. >YeSung be my boyfriend forever. >Coma. >Woke up knowing that I've lost my memories. >Immediately YeSung transferred me to Korea. >Have a h...

Erm... I guess today was a restless day. Because I can't go back to my sweet home. It was a busy day! Okay, Let me start. Morning,went to school. Nothing special happen at first. Then when my Bahasa Melayu teacher came. She carrying some books then quietly put her things down. Her first sentences came out! "Siapa yang buat bising semalam sila berdiri sekarang." Nobody stand up. Then she continued. "Siapa yang buat, siapa yang berani tanggung." Then few seconds later. Lok Kah Kit, Koon Kah Jun, Tey Kah Chuen and Lee Kwon-Ki stand up. I and Serena were a little bit confused. Stand or Not Stand. We kept questioning each other. "We got make noise or not?" And the decision made! Not to Stand! Then teacher talk a lot. She said that our class were a sucker! She also said we are actually brilliant student but not a genius student. Gosh. Make me felt like want to kill myself. I'm too stressed out! Hah! Some more she kept talking about "KRK"! ...

Today, I saw you. You walking out of the class. Felt kinda weird when I saw you. Oya! Your hair changed! As I know, Our school discipline teacher cut your hair! But, You still look nice. For Me. Errmmm... Actually there's nothing happen today. Just kinda miss him. Gosh! I'm over in love! Ah ha! Today, Samantha seems to be missing from anyone. Without a trace and without a clue! Everybody was like "Where's Samantha?!" And in the end, We finally realized that she was in the ICT room. Gosh! She was good at hiding! And some more. I participated at the mural painting. Actually quite boring. Because we just need to paint it blan k! Oh My Gosh! Talking about mural. I guess tomorrow I have to be the heroin. All the students are going to know my almighty name! Gosh.... I wish it would not happen. Please! ____ _ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ ____ Miss You! Saw You! Watch You! Know You! Follow You! And finally, Left You!

Everything seems to be okay. But when I reached home. She was not there. And she did not even do house chores. What happen ? Not you are the one who must do it? Take care of everything? As usual, I stay in front of the computer. Watching some Korean great television . And she came back. She's different from usual. She told me I should clean the house. But what she actually did? She did nothing! I can't stand her attitude anymore. I immediately burst out into tears. Laying on the bed keep on talking to myself. Fuck! Sleep till seven. Facing computer again. When in the middle of internet surfing, The stupid person gave me a stupid link. Fucker! I almost burst out to tears! And my stomach kept aching. Gosh! Stupid Lok Kah Kit! Stupid! * Notes for LKK-If you tell other people bout it, don't ever think you got any life to live. __________ ____________ ___________________ ____ ______ __________ _________________ M i s s Y o u M uc h ! Fuck!

I don't know what to think now. My mind is all blank. What can I do? Am I suppose to sit there and see what's going on? What a fucking world I say. Why my life have to be like this? I suffered through enough tears. Tons of things are playing in my mind. I wanted a shoulder to lie on. I wished it was him . I want to trust. I want to trust a person and tell the person what I have suffered. My exam is coming, now she break all my spirit on everything. Am I suppose to carry on? When you came back from Genting. I really do not know what to feel. Am I suppose to feel happy? Or sad? I do not know what had happen to you. But you seems kind of change a lot. Mother's Day coming, My original plan is actually go out by myself and buy you some present. Now you had make me feel that I already do not know you. It feels like you are not my mom. I wanted a real mom. A mom which take over all of my sadness. Carry things smoothly. Do anything that will makes us happy. Why can't I have on...

Tick-tick-tick... As time goes by, Nobody knows how much I miss him even more like crazy, Our distance is far enough away, Away from my heart of the almighty. Can I have a dance? A dance which never end like life. My love for you is like a maze. Trying hard to reach to you and say "Will you accept me?" Everyday, I wanted to ask you, How are you? I wanted to know whether are you happy with your life? Or are you sad? I wished to get a hug from you. It's like once in my life, To have a feeling like this. I even kept your pictures in a place where I could see you everyday. I wanted you to be here for me. To be my one and only angel of my life. I will not tell others that you're my angel, that's my promise. I will ask you to keep your attractive wings from both side. So nobody can see. That you're angle of mine . I barely can breathe without you. My mind now is all about you. I really wanted you to know how much I love you. Before and after, always will love you. ...