S A L L Y; K O N N Y

It's been days that I have hardly post. I was so mad that I eventually make this blog private just not to let other people knew my problem. Am I making the right decision? Anyway, I have change it to public. Of course, for us, The suffering days are exactly over. But I have much regret in my heart now. Not knowing what will come next in my future. Where is my interest in things? What is my future? I admit I always wanted guy with bright future. Unknowingly, I have hurt others feeling by saying that they have no future. Thinking by how I hurt others, It makes me felt that I don't really plan for mine. I often pretend that my future is going to be good. By dreaming it or thinking it in my mind. Trying to figure out what my hubby going to be. How my child going to be. And how wealthy I'm going to be. Weird yet useful. Why I said useful. It is because it actually makes me feel good. Automatically throwing all the bad things. Everyone should try to spend time on their on laying ...

Mother fucker! What did I do wrong? I just came back and was so stress and tired! Don't I deserve some rights to have peace mind and calm environment? You can say you're broke but why can't I? Shit you! It's my PMR no longer. You don't even care! You have always liked me getting teary and burst into tears! Do you want me to tear some blood? How many liters you want!? Some more I didn't say much! I have only said one sentences! "I don't have money!" But why are you always thinking I have a personal savings? Do I look like I have work? Or do I look like prostitute who sells body to earn money? Do you felt any guilty-ness in you? It's you the one who didn't bring some savings account when I'm at school benches ! If not, maybe now I could count on ATM machine for money! And not from you! I know I don't deserve this teenage life! But why you kept on giving me problems! I am fed up with family problems! I can't do anything! Only sitti...